My PTSD Poem - Laura Kay, NCS Grad

ncs 25/05/2017

My name is Laura I’m 19 years old, my story is as told.

I’m an average teenager there’s no doubt, it’s what I’m all about. 

But the only difference you will not see is that I’ve got PTSD

I had brain surgery back in 2016 and since then my life’s been pretty damn mean.

PTSD doesn’t mean I’m just scared.

You’d know that for sure if you possibly cared.

I don’t just have nightmares and flashbacks and thing.

 

There’s so much more that this illness brings.

Insomnia, anxiety, emotions running wild

Nothing about this is relatively mild.

I haven’t slept in over a year but you wouldn’t think so when you see me appear. 

Invisible illnesses are a goddamn mess.

They’re so hard to live with I must confess. 

I might look fine in an exterior fashion, but my insides are showing me no compassion. 

I’m so very tired it’s completely obscene. 

 

I’m on a sick note and I’m only 19.

Derealisation is my biggest struggle.

I feel like I’m living in my own bloody bubble. 

I never feel like I’m here anymore.

It’s pretty confusing I must implore. 

Everything looks like it’s painted on.

And for so long now this feeling’s never gone.

I go to the hospital into neuropsychology. 

It helps me a lot I must say honestly.

I’ve been given techniques to help me sleep but the road is long and very, very steep.  

 

It will take quite a while for me to be well.

But on this illness I will not dwell.

PTSD is painful and hard and it’s obvious that I’m mentally scarred.

But I’m still here to tell the tale, which shows you how I just won’t bail.

I’m strong kind, loving and glee.

Just don’t judge me by my mentality.

I’ll get through this just wait and see. 

 

This is my life with PTSD.